​Most of the time I love what I do. Helping students find great college options and complete their applications is very rewarding. But there are a few parts of my job I don’t exactly relish. Telling families what to expect to pay for college is one of those.

A couple of conflicting narratives about college costs are floating around right now. On one hand, we hear that college has gotten really expensive. That is true. In fact, it costs roughly four times more than it did a generation ago. We also hear that the average student loan debt is about $30,000. That’s also true. And that private colleges can cost up to $80K per year. True again.

On the other hand, we hear that there are thousands of scholarships out there. There are. (There also are tens of thousands of students vying for them). And, we’re told, you can get financial aid on top of that. Yes, some people can.

Not wanting to spend hundreds of thousands on college, most families hope that the second narrative will cancel out the first: that they will receive a piece of “all that money out there” and that college won’t cost that much in the end. (I was personally in this category until very recently).

The bitter truth is that most families pay more for college than they hope or expect to. And here is why:

1. College has gotten really expensive, and most of those “thousands of scholarships out there” (if you’re lucky enough to find one for which you or your child is eligible) are one-time awards of $500 to $3000: mere crumbs compared to the entire cost-of-college pie. Universities give out the lion’s share of scholarship money, but they use scholarships as recruiting tools, reserving the biggest ones for the top five percent or so of admitted students. In my experience, most students are attracted to colleges where they are not in the top five percent of admitted students, even if when they are offered scholarships somewhere else.
   
   
2. Most public universities only offer need-based financial aid from the state or federal government, of which there really isn’t that much. The maximum Pell grant award, reserved for students with exceptional financial need, is only $6,495 — not even enough to cover tuition. The rest of the aid typically comes in the form of work study programs and loans. (Thus, the average $30,000 in loan debt).
   
3. Private colleges do often give institutional grant money, or money from their own reserves. But with a starting cost as high as $60K to 80K per year, the cost of those institutions after aid can still be pretty steep.

Scholarships and financial aid just aren’t as ubiquitous as Narrative No. 2 would have us to believe and, when they are awarded, don’t usually take as big a slice out of that cost-of-college pie as families hope they will. (Yes, even families with super smart kids or recruited athletes).

Here’s the bottom line. Literally. This is what I tell families to expect to pay per year for the total cost of attendance (tuition plus room and board plus most other campus-related expenses):

• In-state public university — $25-32K/year
• Out-of-state public university — $35-$55/year (although the University of California schools and a few others are actually pushing $70K)
• Private universities — $45-80K/year

Will there be exceptions? Sure. Will I help families look for those exceptions? You bet. But most of the families I work with find themselves paying this much or something pretty close. The best way to figure out what college will cost you is to fill out the Net Price Calculator on the website of each college you’re interested in. Knowing what to expect to pay ahead of time allows you to plan accordingly and remove one more stressor from the college admission process.

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how college costs have gotten to where they are, what’s worth paying more for, and practical advice for paying for college, check out The Price You Pay for College by Ron Lieber.