God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
The Serenity Prayer, as it has come to be known, was originally penned by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. It began to pick up popularity after one of his students placed the original prayer in a book of worship in the 1940’s. Today this modified version of the original is widely used in 12-step recovery programs and artfully displayed on the walls of people’s homes.
My mother has always been a believer in abiding by the serenity prayer and instilled its principles in me from an early age. (I even wrote a college essay about it)! I continue to apply it to my life and recite it to my own children whenever they face challenges of their own. And now, as a college admission consultant, I can think of few situations where its precepts are more applicable than the college admission process.
Though we often characterize college admission as a purely meritocratic exercise, it is not. The events of this summer have brought that point into sharp focus. The Supreme Court’s June ruling that colleges can no longer consider race in college admission brought boiling to the surface the many factors colleges consider beyond merit. It evoked questions like, “If colleges can’t consider race, why can they consider legacy and financial status?” Or, “Colleges can’t consider race, but they can consider where a student attended high school or how well they can catch a ball?” Here in Texas, students often wonder, “How is it fair that so-and-so from High School X got into UT Austin with a lower GPA and test score than I had at High School Y?” Whichever side of the debate you’re on, these and other questions have highlighted a couple of truths about getting into college:
1) The institution of college admission is not a pure academic meritocracy, and
2) There are many factors in college admissions that are outside the applicant’s control.
Whether it be one’s cultural background, socioeconomic status, state of residence, athletic ability or even the high school they attended, there are many factors at play in college admission that students cannot change. Accepting that, no matter how unfair it may seem, is the first step to finding serenity in one’s admission options and outcome.
But college admission is not a lottery, either. Achievement in and out of the classroom plays a significant role in who gets admitted the majority of the time, and that is something students can change. They usually have control over their choice of classes, how hard they study, and how passionately they pursue their interests outside the classroom. They often can even make a difference in their standardized test scores through study and strategy. And they can choose to apply to colleges that are a fit for them, academically and otherwise, and maximize not only their chance of admission but also their potential for success upon enrolling. I would argue that the most important thing students can change is their perspective. Holding on to the idea that their education will only be worthwhile if they are admitted to certain colleges a surefire way to lose serenity.
Sometimes it can be hard to know the difference between what we can change and what we can’t. In college admission, I think the difference is clear. The question I pose to aspiring college students is, “Do you have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change and the courage to change the things you can?” Learning how to do both will not only bring you peace, but it may change your life.
