And…we’re out. The college application and admission process has finally come to a close for the Class of 2021, except perhaps for the handful of students still considering colleges with rolling admissions that stretch into the summer and those hoping to be plucked off a waitlist. This application year, already daunting during a national shutdown that closed both college campuses and standardized testing centers and upended the way many colleges reviewed applications, was especially nerve-wracking, and at times heart-wrenching, for me as both a college consultant and parent of two college-bound seniors. This year saw record numbers of applications to elite institutions (where acceptance rates were already ridiculously low) and declines in applications to community colleges and lesser known private institutions. Standardized test scores were optional at many universities, which helped the cause of some students and left others who had spent months preparing for their SATs and ACTs wondering if it had been worth it. On a personal level, I watched my own clients and children swoon with joy as they opened acceptance letters to top-choice schools and shed tears of disappointment as they read emails beginning with the words, “We are sorry.” Through it all, I learned so much about the way college admissions is changing and was reminded much about the way it has been for awhile. Here is what this application season taught me that I think is helpful for students and families coming up on this part of their children’s lives to know.

First, the hard truth:

1. The college admissions process is longer and more complicated than it used to be.
   Unlike when I was in high school, many students will begin their applications in June and not be completely finished with the process until May of the next year. That is a long time, which requires an incredible amount of support from families, as students are carrying that stress in the backs of their minds even when they’re not actively filling out applications.
2. College is expensive: you will never regret saving as much as you can for it.
   College tuition is four times higher than it was when I went to college, and tuition continues to rise by an average 2-4% per year. I have had parents wonder aloud to me if they should save less with the hopes of receiving more financial aid. My answer is a definitive “no.” I don’t know a single person who wishes they had saved less for college.
3. College scholarships are not as ubiquitous as people think they are.
   One question I get a lot goes something like this, “I’ve heard there’s a scholarship out there for everyone. Like say you’re a redheaded twin…” I personally have redheaded twins and have yet to find a scholarship for redheads or for twins, much less the elusive reward for being both at once. The truth is that there are some obscure scholarships out there that might give your kid an extra thousand or two toward their college education, but that will scarcely pay for a year of books. The best scholarships come from the universities themselves, but even then I often find that the colleges my students want to attend are not the ones offering them the biggest scholarships. So, back to lesson No. 3: you will never regret saving as much as you can for college.

4. Elite colleges and Texas flagship universities are more selective than ever.
   It is hard for me illustrate just how selective Ivy League and similar caliber schools are these days. Take Harvard and Stanford, for instance. The best way to visualize how many kids were admitted this year is to draw 50 circles and fill in two and a half. Each circle represents an application; the darkened ones represent acceptances. Our flagship Texas schools aren’t quite this selective, but with an additional 5,000 students graduating from Texas high schools each year, the number of spaces for students outside the state-mandated Top 6% (UT) and Top 10% (A&M) dwindles annually

   Now, the silver lining:
   
   

5. There is an amazing college experience awaiting every student who seeks it out.
   Folks, there are more than 4,000 universities in the U.S. and hundreds in Texas. I am not suggesting that every one of those would be a good fit for every student, but there are plenty that would. I have observed students grow enamored of universities they did not at first consider once they learned more about them. If our culture would start viewing college acceptances as opportunities to be seized instead of trophies to be collected, perhaps our kids wouldn’t tie so much of their self-worth to where they got in. Parents, this mindset begins with you.
6. Elite institutions DO accept students from public schools.
   While super elite institutions (those with acceptance rates in the teens and below) accept a disproportionate number of students from private preparatory and public magnet schools, it is possible for public school kids to be admitted. In fact, some of my own clients got into such colleges, including Harvard, Duke, UCLA, Michigan, USC and UNC Chapel Hill. These students took the most rigorous course load available to them, worked extraordinarily hard and excelled throughout high school, inside and outside of the classroom, as well as on their applications. They demonstrated their individual fit for the institution to which they were accepted, and it paid off for them in the end.
7. The college application process is a time of incredible personal growth for students.
   I think most parents would agree that the character growth and maturity our children experience through the inevitably self-reflective process of completing college applications is more important in the long run than where they got in. Students may not see this now, but they likely will later. I believe that every one of my students came out of this process a little (and sometimes a lot ) more self-aware than when they began.

    

   Finally, the bottom line:
   
   
8. The college admissions process is full of ups and downs.
   “You win some, you lose some.” It’s cliche, but it’s true. For every success story, I could tell you a heartbreaking story of defeat. Those students that were admitted to the selective schools in the aforementioned paragraph? Not a single one got in everywhere they applied (not even the one that got into Harvard). That is the unpredictable nature of the current state of college admissions. (Hard truth). But, in the end, every student grows up a bit through this process and ultimately reaches a destination that will open up amazing opportunity for them if they are willing to pursue it. (Silver lining).

    

   Take a look at the list of colleges to which my students were accepted this year. Each of those places offers something unique. Each one is going to propel its students toward their future. Each one is going to give them an amazing experience if they choose to seize it. Seniors, it’s time to seize it. Congratulations to each and every one of you! Juniors, put on your seatbelts and get ready for the ride!